Thursday, March 31, 2011

我不后悔

也许我身边的许多人都不知道,我不喜欢“后悔”这个字眼。

我也不喜欢别人问我,会不会后悔。有时觉得这个问题还蛮白目的(老实说,是白痴)。但也许你不了解我的性格。基本上,我做的每件事都是经过三百番的深思熟虑的哦。我考虑了应该考虑的方面,其余的我交托给我亲爱的天父。而我顺服祂的安排。这样有什么好后悔的呢?

至于有些事情的发生,尽管并非是我再三考虑后做出的决定,但那是弘子的决定。我没办法违抗她哦。所以,更不会后悔。

而,就算事情最终并不如我所预期般发生,那也是个非一般的体验。我只要享受那过程与感觉就好。其余的,之后再打算吧!

所以,亲爱的朋友,别再问我,会不会后不后悔了。谢谢。

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A dedication to Lim ChangMin: you're so dear to my heart ♥

seriously, i miss you =/

you know what? i had a dream about you last night. and it wasn't quite a good one. a very BAD one in fact.

In the dream, i was back home from outstation (perhaps KL) and the last time i left, you were bitten (by some other stupid dog maybe) at the thigh. And when i got home, i found that you were hopping towards me. there were 2 big holes on your thigh.. It seemed like no one tended to the wounds and it worsened. and here's the bad news: you WERE dying. thank God for the "were", as in it's not true, as in "as if".

But i was really sad to know that you WERE gonna leave me. and it broke my heart to see that you couldn't run, or gallop, like i always prefer to use on you =). we were at a waterfall, you were watching other dog/children having fun running here and there, and wanted to but i couldn't. and i wouldn't let you too. because i just couldn't bear seeing you being in pain. because i wish you could stay by my side longer.

and then somehow i woke up. and thank God it was a dream. and i started to cry. and i started to miss you like crazy. but i don't know when i could go back to you. even if i could soon, i would have to leave you again soon. i was thinking if i should just go back to Sibu and get a job back home. i felt bad leaving you home alone. but... please forgive me. you'll get sick and throw up whenever we brought you to the vet in car, so it's next to impossible i could bring you out to my side here.

you were a gift from Evelyn on my 19th birthday, and so i declared that your birthday's the same as mine. you were such a little cute puppy back then. and still is, of course, just the "little" changed into "large" ^^ honestly, i chose you because you looked like Courage. but you're no longer a replacement, surely. you're you, Lim ChangMin =)


However, these days i've been, like, counting your age and started to feel down. you're around 4 years old. you're getting old. that's why i started to decide to cut down your food (sorry for that, i know how much you like to eat. like me XD) and brought you to exercise. regardless of how much i love your gas-tong body and full tummy.

I'm really happy that you'll stick with me when i go cycling around the house. and i'll never ever forget that you rushed - literally rushed - to block the stupid dogs which were barking and growling at me. believe me, i was truly touched =) now that i come to think about it, it seems like that wasn't the first time you're protecting me.. thank you my dear =)

you bring joy to my life.. tonnes and tonnes of them ^^
you're my companion, my hero. a super tight friend, you are =)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

很久很久

朋友跟我说,我谈起你时,双眼会发亮。。你知道吗?

你跟我说过,我会找到一个能真正给我快乐的人。我说,是啊,我会努力等待。但是,对不起,我说谎了。当下我就知道,我会一直喜欢着你。你会在我心里很久很久。

听过吗?张曼娟说过的:
『你可以不爱我,但爱你是我的自由。你可以不回答,但等待是我的自由。』

对不起,我也没办法。

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

我的天空

像天空一样。蔚蓝得吸引人目光,昏黄得让人心痛,灰暗得惹人掉泪。一如那天空。

Monday, March 14, 2011

every girl is a fool

Oh gosh.. i love Shia LaBeouf...



Ever since he was in Disney's Even Stevens, i've already liked him so much, that every weekday afternoon i had to finish watching him on tv and got late for tuition (I'm sorry, Miss.. Whoever-My-Tutor-Was-Then).

Imagine how surprised i was when i saw him as the male lead in the big hit "Transformers" movies! I was really proud of him. He really deserved all the fame and glamour. However, it's sad to see that he seems to get head over heels admist the glamour and it starts to seem like he's ruining his career... or life?

Anyways, the reason why i'm suddenly talking about Mr LaBeouf is i was watching him in "Wall Street".



He's really "grown" so much from the Even Stevens time (obviously). Of course he's a genius and such. But what really touched me was how much he loved his girlfriend. When they broke up after some problem (big PROBLEM) surfaced, he went to her and whispered "I miss you like crazy, and i love you, baby, and I'm sorry." Awww.. I'd have forgiven you even if you killed my Dad... Ok, let's keep it low so my Dad won't hear this.

So here's the plain truth --> every girl is a fool who can't resist guys whispering love words in her ears. She'll melt and TOTALLY fall for it.

Well, I would have.
,
and if it were you, my dear, i'd trade the whole world for it. just for the three magical words...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

first step

i'm gonna start walking. period.

愤慨,加上绝对的不支持

最近中东的示威、抗议、推翻政府的行动闹得轰轰烈烈。

几天前在报章上看到一张真的是会让我气愤到想尖叫、变身泼妇般破口大骂的照片。据报道,那位所谓“领袖”竟然连儿童军都送上战场。这位先生对外宣称人民还是支持他的,坚决不肯下台。

其他的在这暂且不提,不尊重人命(尤其牵涉到纯真的小孩子的),我不能赞同。当然,你也许会说,这是他们战争常用的战略哦。但是,看到那些未满七岁的小孩手握机关枪的画面时,还是让我失控。


你说,叫我怎么冷静?!

最近渐渐发现我不再“年轻”。生活,或多或少让我妥协。看到小孩时,我最钦羡的是他们的童真与未经玷污的童年。那是我们都曾经拥有,但仅此一次紧握住的资产。没有回头哦。
所以,以武器代替小孩手上该握着的玩具车的家伙,我只能回以愤慨,以及绝对的不支持。


真的不能忍受!!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

漂流的叶子

前两晚,终于鼓起几百两的勇气对父亲说明了我毕业后向往、想走的路---PLAN A。非因父亲是个专制又古板的人,但是,对于一个连自己都没有十足信心的未来,我有该有的担忧。而父亲,身为父亲,他的想法。。若是他赞成,对我来说将是很大的鼓舞。

几天前就开始为了这“发通告”的一天而祷告。感谢主,父亲并没有反对。虽然不是十足的赞成,但是不反对。只认为我选择的路,不易走,外加辛苦为人生调味料。

“Eh, 还是较倾心于文字和旅行,”我坦白,“我不想立刻就被困在朝九晚五的工作里。我想先去旅行。之后,也许在报社或杂志社找份工。”
“Eh siang lo(糟糕了的意思),”父亲回应,“像叶子那样啊?”
“当叶子不好咩?”我立刻答,“没当过,就当一当试试咯?”

“像叶子一样飘来飘去。”并非所有父亲都会给出如此富有诗意的回应吧?

感谢神,我有如此文明又开通的父亲。
也因此,弘子才是弘子。流浪的弘子。漂流的叶子。