imported XV

L.O.V.E?

March 9th, 2009

draft for my speech comm

Love, of course, as we all know, does not only refer to the kind of feeling between the two different sexes. Or, as time evolves, generation changes, it exists in such “prohibited” way between the same sex. Well, it’s a really wide and complicated field I’d like to exclude in my topic today.

This evening, I’d like to talk about the kind of LOVE between friends, in the family, and between different sexes. Researches show that the diversity of race, country, sex, family background, education etc. comes with a big difference in the way the population expresses love.

Generally, we can say that the east and west have their own way of expressing love. The easterners are known to be more conservative, shy and afraid to show their true feeling. Even though the love is known by the other party, we just cannot say the word. “I like you” is easy. … but “I love you”? just kill them. Especially the elders, like my parents, if one day I go home, or even if I just call them, and say “love ya” before hanging up, I’m sure there’ll be REALLY worried about me. Like I just decided to kill myself.

This is actually our ancestors’ fault. If in the olden days, they have chosen to talk their children into doing something, instead of just beating, canning or forcing, I guess the situation would be way different. The fathers in those times chose to be a strict one due to their man’s pride. Saying “I’m your father, just listen to what I say and obey”. Now, the word “obey” is crucial. Children will think, “right, I’ll obey.” But they never RESPECT or learn that the strict and fierce father who actually loves them dearly in the heart. The mother, though, always plays the caring part. That’s why we’re more attached to mothers and more willing to tell our mother the secrets and whatever there’s in our heart, if we’re ever going to do so.

I think it’s really weird that we kiss and hug babies and kids. But as they grow up, the kissing just stops. Now I come to think of it, maybe, maybe the kids become rebellious and leave. This is how the environment affects us. Even though we still love our parents the same way, peers’ jeers make us embarrassed. Perhaps they really think you’re childish, or maybe they are just envious or jealous.

Sometimes, the kids don’t leave because of the hormones. The rebellious thing, you know. But because they want to grow up. It’s funny how homo sapiens are never satisfied with the way they are. When they are young, they’ll say “I wish I’m 21, so I can go in casinos”. When they REALLY are 21, they wish they can go back school and enjoy those days without worries, under parents’ shelter. My 85yo grandma always says that, of all the things I’ve gone thru, being old is the most difficult thing. Seems like human beings will never be satisfied with how you are, so, a little advice here, don’t try to be perfect. You’ll always find a fault in yourself.

Ok, back to the topic. So.. kids leave because they want to be independent. I’ll never forget that when I was in kindergarten, my mum used to take my hand and walk me to my class. But one day, I don’t know what went wrong with my little brain, I told them I could walk in by myself. And I regret the words til now. Since then, I was forced to be independent. Luckily, I think I do well. Just feeling lonely sometimes.. One point here, easterners never kiss goodbye. On the other hand, westerners, as we can see in movies and dramas, they kiss each other when they meet, when they part, when they are upset, when they are happy, blah blah blah. They show their care and love by actions. They don’t think it weird to be kissing in public. It’s their own world.

Besides, they talk a lot. I mean, they tell what bothers them in their heart. We tend to keep our secrets close underneath our skin here, but it’s different with the westerners. Everything they have, they will need to spill it out! Their happiness, upset, even anger.

Between friends, in my opinion, they complement our family. Things we can’t confess to our family members, we tell our friends. If the family’s like a strong rock supporting us, friends are like those little breeze who makes our lives happier and better. When we quarrel with our family, we either deal with it alone, or we go to our friends. Friends tend to give comfort, nice words and a strong shoulder for you to lean on.

The way we love our friends is interesting too. Before we know each other that deeply, we converse with kind words, trying to be nice, always talk with a smile like the Sun and all the spotlights are on you. If the friendship turns out well, the two people become close and they become near-family. Words are not always nice now. There may be harsh words to keep you on the wrong path. Yeah, it’s all for your own good. But, my friend, I’d like those words to be softened a bit. After the incident, we turn out to treasure the friend. For their words support us and hold us on the right way.

Now, the most interesting relationship there ever is. Between opposite sexes. God created Adam and Eve, so don’t ask me why “opposite sexes”, please. That’s what we call “straight”.

In courtship, there are a lot of ways to win a person’s heart. One of my friends recently told me that he likes someone. But he’s gonna wait to make sure if it’s love. However, he’s already made the first move. He already got the phone number. I think in this era, if you wanna win someone’s heart, getting the 10 numbers is essential. You can call, or use the modern way, SMS. I think it serves as the easier way as well. And I think it’s sneaky. It’s cheap, so you can send as many as you like, saying whatever you want, without seeing the other party in person. Perhaps you say, “oh I’m shy” so, just send an SMS. Type the characters, I think… I’m in love with you… and then, add an emoticon showing ur blushed face. Easy. Yeah. Perhaps it’s more efficient than the long, long letter Mr Darcy wrote to Elizabeth in P &P. However, it’s still lousier than the face-to-face confession he made. I’m sure many of you know the novel, or ever watched the movie. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. The feeling will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.“

So, besides phone calls and SMSes, there are still many other alternatives. MSN, love letters, e-mails, etc. It’s for a good purpose actually. To get close, know each other better and make sure if he/she is the right person. Better than regretting after your marriage. And then, you go on dates, hold hands, kiss, and it goes on. Those physical contact, according to scientists, are needed. One of the Five Love Languages come up by Dr Gary Chapman is physical contact. It gives a feeling of secure and loved. The other four are precious time spent together, gifts, actions, and words.

Eye contact is also one important thing. Like, when I stare at you, lovingly, you feel shy, or, embarrassed, and you turn away.But I heard there are guys who have those electric eyes, when they stare at you, you just get sucked in and, guess what, you fall in love! I dunno how long this love will last, it’s another topic I guess. But I believe eye contact can deliver your love to your beloved one.

Love makes the world beautiful. It doesn’t matter what kind it is, it makes human a better human. Emphathy, is also a kind of love. Sacrifices, prove how deep the love is. Sometimes, we get hurt by love, by those words and actions. But I’m grateful I’m loved.